Appreciating Your Own Voice

Recently, I lost my voice due to laryngitis and have not been able to verbally communicate with anyone unless absolutely necessary for the past three days. I've grown accustomed to always having notecards or little notebooks at my side with a pen, so that I don't have to talk too much. I keep a page saved that says "Sorry! I have laryngitis and am not supposed to talk too much :( " at the register. It's been interesting at work, because for the most part people just look at me (and my oh-so-special made-up sign language) and smile kindly. They make sure to keep their eyes up at me the whole transaction, so that they can read my facial expressions and I'm so appreciative of that. Then there are people who don't bother to look up, so unless I absolutely have to talk in order to get a customer through the checkout, they take my silence as being rude and unfriendly, and leave in a bad mood. I wasn't even aware until now, but did you know that it's possible to shop for items, check out at the counter and then leave without ever making eye contact with the cashier? If those people had looked up, they would see me waving goodbye or mouthing the word 'sorry'. One customer was especially rude to me, so I had to talk a little and that made him even angrier. When he left, the customer behind him had a look on his face. I thought that he was upset with me too, but instead he said "You didn't deserve to be treated like that. You know that, right? Thank you for working today, even though you aren't well." If he had kept that thought to himself, I probably would've felt awful and useless and sad for the rest of the day. I loved him so much for talking and then felt bad right away, because I've witnessed situations like the one I had just been in, and made the decision to be quiet so that I wouldn't make the person feel even worse. Because the latter customer decided to say just a few simple words to me, I was in a good mood all day. Don't ever doubt the thought's going on in your head, if they involve worry, concern, love, or goodwill for your fellow man.

Comparing the past to present ....

The other day I was thinking back to my good old grade school, junior high and high school days. Really they were not that good but I made it through and moved on like everyone else did! I am now asking YOU to go back to those days, 12 years, 15, 22,28,35,40,54 and even 60 years. It was a journey to say the least. I did not only learn and become educated but I mastered the challenge of being social. Learning to work with many unique social situations. I was overweight, had horrid buck teeth, didn't like to take showers and had greasy hair until my 10th grade. Then I did that blossom thing but at that point the damage was done. It took me … oh lets say another 15 years to gain the confidence. I would love to tell you that what only hurts us makes us stronger, it can but at what price. I still feel unattractive, damage done.

I am in a musical called "Mean" with a theater group called Youth Performance Company. The show follows 3 story lines that are currently at the forefront of todays media. There is one story about a slightly overweight girl (slightly meaning MAYBE 20-30 pounds over the BMI!) She is consistently being belittled for her weight, despite her kind heart and natural beauty. She soon learns about a web page with her name and cropped photos of herself and she wants to give up. Next is a group of 3 boys, one of them feels threatened by the others "perceived" sexuality. We watch as they banter back and forth trying to prove who each other is or is not. The last story is about a Muslim girl, innocent and just trying to fit in but still believe and respect her religion and choices. She hears questions like "Is that really a dog food sandwich?" We watch her ultimate frustration of just trying to be herself. At the end of each story that intertwine between each other we are shown ways, outlets and abilities to solve the bullying they are dealing with. As we view the set we see names. some you may know, others just a name that died from the pain. This is a powerful show that will leave you with so much thought and remembrance. If you go back to those years, you will remember things you may have wanted to forget. I dealt with bullying but watching this real story, written from real accounts, I see it is so much more intense. Most of us did not have cell phones to spread slam, FB was not around, the hate was more innocent … or was it? In my HS years there were 3 suicides, do we really know why they did that? Kids left schools all the times, rumors would go around like, I heard she was pregnant or he wanted a better school for sports. Why did so many alumni go missing? Put these puzzle pieces together, maybe some or for a real reason but I suspect many are simply from bullying. The difference today? This generation is more egotistical and tells us everything via media because we all know it is easier to write something then to say it to their face.

I am currently in this show with 3 of my teens. I have been in the mix of intense conversation about this issue and feel blessed. I am the proud parent of a son that is gay, a daughter dealing with acne and another son who is bullied for appearing gay. They are empowered by the one's that love them and they walk forward everyday with their head held high because they are who they are.

Christina

How to change lives

The title of this post is what I put in the subject line of all the emails, notes, and messages I sent to people like Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah, and many news companies. I'm hoping that everyone will do everything in their power to get this show out there. It is truly going to be amazing. I attached the letter that I have been sending out to people so everyone has a chance to read it and kind of see my point of view.

My name is Scarlett Thompson, and I wanted to tell you about something that should be broad-casted as far as possible. I am currently in a play called "Mean". It is all about the kind of bullying that's going on right now and the hardships of it in high school. The show is with a theater company called "Youth Performance Company". This theater is probably the only place that people should be in February. The performance follows the story lines of three different kids. One who is tormented about her appearance, one who is bullied about her religion and another who is tormented daily about his perceived sexual preference. This show is not just another 'oh, bullying is bad, try to stop it, goodbye' performance. Absolutely not. The actors in this show have ALL been through some kind of bullying in their life. Some are being teased every day, right now. Almost every night at rehearsal someone is crying because they just have to relive or watch this HORRIBLE stuff that happens in everyone’s lives!

I KNOW that this show could change lives. It already has. For me, as the youngest person in the cast (most of them are in high school, and I’m 12), I am just shocked at the kind of stuff that’s been going on that I didn't even know about! These actors are opening up part of their lives to us, and I think EVERYONE deserves to see this. So PLEASE help us spread the word about this. Thank you.

Scarlett

Making Progress? - Thoughts from Shauna, a board member

I was watching Oprah today, and the show was about all ages of people and their "coming out" stories.  Oprah was checking in with where these people were today in their lives with their parents (or others who didn’t accept them being gay).  I didn't see the show in its entirety, but the parts that I did see moved me to tears because it helped me realize that we are making progress with civil rights for gay people.  Maybe an even more powerful thought is that we are making progress in the area of removing our visions for people's  lives (including our children's) and allowing everyone to live into their full potential without judgment.

The best part of the show for me was the follow up from a prince who lives in India.  His mother stopped speaking to him after he told her that he was gay.  The last time that he was on Oprah (a few years ago), it was illegal to commit homosexual acts in India.  These acts were punishable by up to 10 years in prison.  Due to Oprah's power and ability to spotlight important issues around the world, combined with the prince being true to himself and not compromising who he is as a human being, the prince updated that today homosexual acts are no longer illegal in India.  This was an awe filled moment for me because it helped me remember that we are getting better every day as a worldwide family unit and allowing each other to live as we are truly intended to live.

This Oprah episode made me think about the upcoming “Mean” performance at YPC.  "Mean" has the courage to deal with tough emotional issues that need attention in our community.  I applaud what the actors are personally giving and experiencing as this production comes to its final days of rehearsal.  I know that this show will changes lives, and I am grateful to be in a place to see it happen.  One day at a time, one country at a time, one person at a time, we will remove behaviors of persecution and ill-will and live in a space of understanding and equality for everyone.  We are making progress every minute…can you feel it?

Close to Heart

It really wasn't until I started to work on promoting this show that I realized truely how much this show means to me. Talking to people at school, some interested and some scoffing at the idea of a musical about bullying, it has shown me that people really don't understand the severety and seriousness that bullying creates. Teenagers are oblivious to their surroundings, their actions, their friends. I want them to see the truth, the harsh effects that simple words can create. Everything is taken very lightly in high school, things are thrown out, words are spoken without any thought of the repercussions of their actions. I want them to start to care.
Passion. To stop bullying. To think before you act. To let people be knowledgable about bullying and it's deadly effects.
This show has the power to change lives, the power to give new perspective. We need to take the chance we have with MEAN to try and change lives. I am going to use my story, my character, my own life to change even one persons life. I never want anyone to have to go through what I experienced with bullying. This show is dear to my heart. Close to my heart, my story and my life. This is my passion and I am going to use it to change a life.

Who Forgets and Who Holds On?

There are things from my childhood that I'll always remember, like when my Mom was waiting for me at the door in our yellow kitchen and I was deciding whether or not to take another slice of a pear that was on the counter. I remember that I was the height of the counter and the pear was green and yellow. When I told her that story, she said she didn't remember that ever happening. There are some things that I know I'll always remember (for whatever reason) while others will forget, because they didn't see the memory from my angle. I'm sure that if I were to approach the actual person that part of the "Hannah" character is based off of (from MEAN) and told her I didn't appreciate her trying to yank off my nails in junior high, she would sincerely believe that I made up the story. The memory for me is so vivid that I actually remember what color nail polish I had on (lavender Sally Hanson Maximum Growth). I can only hope that "Hannah" has changed for the better, and has matured since then. If she's a respectable person now, why would I ever burden her with a memory that would make her feel bad about herself? In fact, she probably didn't think anything of it at the time. It wasn't like she planned on pulling my nails back that day, it just happened, and that was it. Whenever my siblings and I would fight, I'd always run to my parents hoping they'd punish my brother and sister. I'd tattle so much that my parents would eventually say "just let it go." The same thing with my teachers. I'd tell them that my bullies were teasing me, and for awhile the teachers would assist. But they eventually turned to the "let it go" attitude because I had something to report to them every day. My parents would say "if something's wrong, tell a teacher." Then all of a sudden, that wasn't an option anymore. At the time, I thought that it meant that I would be bullied for the rest of junior high, and no one would care. But now I'm thinking that maybe it was because the adult figures from my childhood thought that bullying is something that kids grow out of? That they don't really mean it? Bullies are bullies and then they grow up? So, they get to move on and become "better people"...As for me? After being cast in MEAN, it would appear that I never got to leave Junior High. I'm still there.

Relive and Relieve.

I stood there shaking. I was crying and I couldn't stop. The memories were too strong to forget and the words spoken too real.

Rehearsal on Friday was our first rough run through. And for being the first, it went fairly well. We ended the night on my hardest scene. The scene where my character, Taylor, is cyber-bullied. It's one of two scenes that's completely true to what I've been through.

In eighth grade I became really frustrated with my weight; I didn't look like the other girls. My friends were all smalls and I was a large. I started to starve myself because dieting wasn't working. It never was enough for me. The rate of weight loss. The size I was. Who I was. The biggest bully in my life became myself. There were still whispers and messages, posts and rumors, but I was the one who kept it going when others weren't around. I stopped looking in the mirror at myself; I started looking in the mirror at flaws. I wanted the pain to be over. To stop the crying and the tears. End the pure hell I had to go through every single day. With pills in hand, ready to end my life, I texted my friend "I can't do this anymore."

The last part of my story, the last quote. Purely that is the essence of the scene. That moment, that memory. It's so vivid to me that I can barely make it through the scene. But the truth of it is, this time I know I won't be alone. This time I know that there will be many hugs for me when I make it through. This time it isn't real.

I never thought reliving these events would be quite as emotional as they are. I knew it'd be hard, but not to this extreme. But I also never thought this show would be so relieving. So freeing. So cleansing.

We live and we love, we forgive and forget, we relive and we relieve.